feeling for the inevitable direction of my life....

I think the combination of age and the greater coming together is responsible for the speed of the passing time. 

It's six months now and i can tell you truthfully few periods in my life have passed so quickly.I am in excellent physical and emotional health. there are doubtless subtle surprises ahead but i feel secure and ready. 
I am deliberate--sometimes even calculating--seldom employing histrionics except as a test of the reactions of others. i read much, exercise, talk to guards and inmates, feeling for the inevitable direction of my life....


As lovers will contrast their emotions in times of crisis, so am i dealing with my environment. in the indifferent brutality, incessant noise, the experimental chemistry of food, the ravings of lost hysterical men, i can act with clarity and meaning.